Ahhh, yes... Today, I finally got some time to relax. I am still in Phoenix where it got to 91 degrees F today. Work has been energy draining, and the hotel sucks.

I dug out my travel humidor (an Otterbox) and grabbed a nice dark and delicious looking Torano Tribute cigar. You can see the sheen on it from all of the oils just dripping from the super nice wrapper. I then pulled out my travel flask and poured myself a nice full glass (with rocks - not real rocks, but you know, like, ice cubes) of Talisker scotch. I took them out to the pool (crap, no chicks in bikinis) and lit my cigar while smoking my cigar in the shade.

A little over an hour later, I was finished and much happier.

To make life even better, I got another cigar and another glassful of Talisker and did it again!

It is an age old question that is asked a few gazillion (yes, this is a real number) times each day around the world.

Q: "Should I take the cellophane off of my cigars before I put them in my humidor?"

A: It depends (This happens to be my favorite answer for almost every question)

Those who say to leave it on reason that:

• It is put on to protect those ever so fragile leaves from the brutish fingers of many cigar smokers
• Cellophane is gas permeable so it doesn't matter as far as humidity goes
• Cellophane actually helps to maintain the humidity within the cigar since it will slow the release from the cigar to the environment by providing a barrier
• If you trade cigars on a regular basis, you should leave it on to provide protection during shipping

Those who say to take it off reason that:

• The whole point of aging a cigar is to expose it to the perfect environment of temperature and humidity along with spanish cedar found in almost every humidor and cellophane impedes aging
• Cellophane doesn't grow in the fields with the tobacco and it wasn't used for years and years so it should not be needed to protect cigars

There is a compromise position, too. Many people cut off the excessive cellophane at the end to expose the cigar tip and allow better humidity transfer.

As far as the technical aspects, it really does depend on the cellophane. Cellophane can be manufactured to allow or disallow certain levels and types of gases in and out. Not all cellophane is equal, so it is best to test it.

Testing - Take the cellophane and put a drop of water on it. If it slowly passes through, then you can safely leave your cello on and it will not impede humidity. If water doesn't pass through, then you should take it off. For those that argue this point, get a chemistry book and do some reading. A water molecule is a water molecule whether it is in vapor form or solid. It either can pass through, or it can't.

So, should you take it off or leave it on? The real answer is another question, "Who cares?"

One of the things I love most about the cigar industry is how much they contribute to different charities. Of course, it is a very distant second to the fantastic products that they make. The cigar industry works hard to provide funding for many charitable endeavors.

CAO Cigars, http://www.caocigars.com, a company with several different lines scoring over 90 points, is starting its own charity drive.

Send a check payable to "CRC" to CAO at this address:

CAO
Attn: CRC Donation
6172 Cockrill Bend Circle
Nashville, TN 37209

CAO we will send you a free gift along with a receipt of your donation for your tax records. CAO is offering to send donors the following:

• $20 donation: Receive (1) CAO Italia Cap and (1) CAO SB XXXVIII Limited Edition Cigar
• $50 donation: Receive (1) CAO Italia Cap and (3) CAO SB XXXVIII Limited Edition Cigars
• $100 donation: Receive (1) CAO Italia Cap and (1) Box of CAO Brazilia Anaconda Cigars (10 cigars per box)
• $500 donation: Receive (1) CAO Italia Humidor, (1) CAO Italia Cap, and (1) Box of CAO Brazilia Anaconda Cigars

This topic came up on www.cigarbid.com today. It is a familiar question to hear, "How do you handle cigar breath?" Of course, most people think that the question is how to get rid of cigar breath. That, to me, is like asking how to get rid of the smell of good single malt scotch on your breath. OK, maybe I wasn't clear, it is similar to asking how do you get rid of something that tastes great and smells wonderful. It is like asking how to get rid of donut breath.

Anyway, the common responses include:

• Various over the counter breath mints
• Tea Tree chewing sticks http://www.evitamins.com/product.asp?pid=4263&brand=Thursday-Plantation I love these and have them in my office
• Henry Clay (a well known cigar name) mints http://www.cigar-ettecity.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=1567 also available via http://www.cigarsinternational.com/prodDisp.asp?item=M-HCMISC1&stext=mint and www.cigarbid.com I also love these and have them in my office and in my car
• Mint Condition cigar mints http://www.smokeshopmag.com/0299/showcase/
• Listerine
• Cranberry juice
• Tongue scrapers
• Mint chewing gum
• Pepperoni pizza (OK, nobody recommends this, but I think it should be high on the list)

The list goes on and on. Of course, a great way to get rid of cigar breath should also include gargling with your favorite scotch, bourbon, rum, or other alcoholic beverage. I am having a real issue with the whole concept of cigar breath being a problem. It should be something that people seek out. Women should line up so they can talk to a cigar smoker and smell their breath.

So, to sum up this entry, I read the question again on the forums. I have decided that if anyone ever complains to me about my cigar breath, I will just pass gas to cover it up.

I am really hurting. Not from any ordinary drug withdrawals. Not from caffiene (which is way worse), not from alcohol (ok, maybe it is from that, too), but from the lack of a good cigar.

I have not smoked a cigar for at least three weeks. Three weeks. That is like way more than 24 hours. Yep, at least that much. I am pretty sure that three weeks is like more than... ummm... more than... yeah... more than 20 days (I had to get the calc running).

It isn't a nicotine fit that I am having. Cigars are not addictive in that way like nasty cigarettes. For some reason, I need lots of smoke in my eyes right now. My eyes are screaming for large clouds of smoke. I need lots of smoke going up my nose, too. I just feel the need. I need my fingers to smell like really yummy tobacco. I need my tongue to have the flavor of smoke all over it. I need my shirt to smell like cigar smoke. I need it, I tell you, I need it.

This isn't a physical sort of need. It is much deeper. It is a deep rooted love kind of need. I need to have a cigar that I can run under my nose and inhale its wonderful odorous goodness. I need to feel the light oils of it on my fingers. I need to taste it on my lips as I wet the tip. I need to feel the slice of the cutter as it chops off that little tip of the cigar. I need to fire up my lighter and toast the end as I puff up huge clouds of smoke.

I have to do it, I tell you, I have to!

My addiction started several years ago. I started a habit that became of so much more than a habit. It became a lifestyle. There were three of us in my department that smoked cigars. We even kept a little humidor in the office. We kept it stocked, and every day at 3pm, we would have a meeting on the balcony where we would chase off all the whimpy cigarette smokers with our huge clouds of cigar smoke. We would do all of our paperwork and enjoy the burning of fermented vegetation almost every day. Yes, those were wonderful times.

I soon found that you can buy cigars on the Internet. Soon after, I found you could bid on them in online auctions. Five packs, boxes, crates of boxes... Soon, I had a dedicated cigar purchasing credit card. I ran out of humidor space, so I bought more humidors. I bought bigger humidors. I considered making my basement into one huge humidor. The boxes started coming in on a regular basis. Then came the dedicated UPS driver just for my shipment. At one point, I had to build a dock on the side of my house to handle the fleets of trucks bringing cigars to my house. They had to widen the road to my house because of my cigars. I had to move the kids out of their bedrooms and they had to sleep in the hallway because my cigars needed a place to be stored (OK, this one, at least, is an exaggeration).

Then came the intervention. "Russ," they said (it is my name, by the way - I don't think I would have listened if they called me Sam or Jimmy), "You have a problem. We can help you." I didn't want to hear it, but they finally convinced me. "We can help you. First, you need a couple of bottles of port, some scotch, some bourbon, and some cognac..." I listened and I learned. Damn, this stuff goes great with cigars. I wasn't doing it right, but the intervention helped me become a better cigar smoker once I had the right drink to go with my cigar.

Now, what to do with all of this alcohol... hmmm, I think I need a drink. I think I need to smell some good single malt. Yes, I need to taste it... Wait, this is more than a want or a desire, I have to have it.

I tell you, I have to have it!

Thanks to one of my many cigar loving friends around the country, I received a pound of Climmax humidification beads. Please note that "Climmax" in this case has more than one letter M in it. If you search for climax beads (with one M) on the Internet, you will get something totally different and something that does absolutely no good in a humidor. These beads are much more expensive than the water gel crystals that I wrote about earlier as they run about $30/pound when you also include shipping. According to documentation (yes, some non-computer people actually document their products), one pound is sufficient to humidify 5 cubic feet. For those that insist on using the metric system, convert it yourself.

Anyways, back to the story. I received this pound of beads, and I added distilled water to them. They, like they are supposed to do, sucked up the water. Unlike the crystals I talked about earlier, they don't expand into over flowing quantities that bring back memories of the poorly filmed movie, "The Blob." These beads are calibrated (no, I don't know how, but talk to a chemical engineer and he might explain it) to maintain humidity at 65% RH at 70 degrees F. RH, for the non-cigar educated, stands for relative humitidy (which has nothing to do with relatives). These beads are supposed to release moisture until the air reaches 65% RH, and they are supposed to absorb moisture from the air if RH exceeds 65%. When put into use, guess what happens? They work. I am always amazed when things work like expected.

FYI, these beads were actually developed for use in long-term storage areas to maintain humidity levels. Museums having been using similar products for years to help keep paintings and other artifacts in the best environment to prevent damage over long periods of time. Some fool, like me, figured out a way to engineer them for use in cigar humidors. Us cigar smokers are an inventive lot. Those rolled up fermented leaves of tobacco require ideal conditions to properly age, and we look for ways to provide the perfect conditions.

So, now my trusty humidor uses oasis foam (invented for flower displays and such) with distilled water, water gel crystals (invented for landscaping) with distilled water, and climmax beads (invented for museums) with distilled water. My cigars must love me with all of the care that they receive.

In previous blog entries, I have talked a bit about my cigar addiction. Yes, it is most definitely an addiction. How else can I explain that I have over 2,000 cigars and only smoke about 5 a week? Through trades and purchases, I have a wonderful selection that can require many minutes to select the right cigar for the right occassion. At my current rate of consumption, I have enough for over 7 years.

Anyways, as usual, I went off topic. The issue is that here in Colorado, we have extremely low humidity. Cigars are supposed to be stored at between 65-70% relative humidity. So, I am constantly looking for just the right humidity source for my humidor.

Last week, I started doing research and found that cationic polyacrylamide powder is often used by landscaping professionals to provide a water store for plants. These little crystals absorb huge amounts of water and will give it off to the atmosphere and plants over time. This works wonderfully for plants that need a continuous source of water but can't be watered all the time. I did some more research and found that these crystals will then break down over time to the water that they store plus carbon dioxide and nitrogen.

OK, why not try to put these little water storing crystals to work in my humidor? I bought a pound of these little crystals for about $12 including shipping. According to the documentation, six teaspoons (an ounce) will absorb up to a gallon of water. I opened the package and spooned out two tablespoons. I just didn't believe they could absorb so much water. I put them in a large ashtray that I have that holds 10 oz of water (it is shaped like a really huge pipe) and put the two tableshoons in it. I added water and walked away. I came back 30 minutes later to an ashtray full of these little inflated crystals and a very large gob (look it up, it is a technical measure) of crystals that spilled all over the table. I waited two more hours and found even more crystals all over the table. I, as a geek, immediately thought that I was facing a new "tribble" like phenom. They just wouldn't stop growing. I scooped them up and put them in a very large styrofoam cup (think: geek coffee source) and continued to add water. I really wanted to see how much they could grow. Well, they didn't disappoint me at all. I ended up putting a large amount of these little water dudes into my outdoor planters where they could hang out until spring and then help my flowers.

I put the rest into my humidor. After a few hours, I saw the humidity kick up and it leveled off to a perfect 68%. After all night last night and all day today, it has maintained that 68% just like I wanted.

I figure, based on that pound of crystals that I bought, I have enough crystals to humidify the cigars in the entire state of Colorado. Anyone want some? www.watergelcrystals.com is a good source. Be careful, the picture of the crystals here is very deceptive. Notice how small the crystals are on the left and how big they are on the right. The ones on the right can grow even bigger. If you added water to all of the ones on the left, you would end up with a kitchen full of the ones on the right.

I have been visiting www.cigarbid.com for a few years now. What a great site! You can bid on wonderful cigars, trade with other cigar smokers, and listen to the non-Republicans rant and rant and rant some more about the evils of W.

Today was a typical day for me at Cigar Bid. I completed two trades and sent out three bombs. What I love is that there are a few different types of trades that are actually fun.

• Pay it forward (PIF) - In this trade, you wait for somebody to ask for cigars and if you are first to volunteer, then you get to ask next.
• Pay it back (PIB) - In this trade, you wait for somebody to ask if you would like free cigars. If you are the first to respond, that person will send you some free cigars. It is then your turn to offer free cigars.
• Top this trade (TTT) - In this trade, somebody will challenge any takers to participate in a TTT. Once somebody agrees, the person making the challenge sends cigars to the other person and then that other person is supposed to top the package they receive with more and better quality cigars. Once that first trade is completed, then you can ask for somebody to top your trade and then you become the first to ship cigars and receive something better in return.

I love the TTT and just wiping out the other person by sending so much good stuff that they don't have room for it in their humidors. You can also just post and negotiate one on one trades.

What I have enjoyed doing recently is participating in bombing runs where you just load up a box of cigars and send them to somebody for no reason whatsoever. Of course, they are supposed to feel offended by the unprovoked attack and retaliate. Mutual retaliatory bombing can continue for months before one side gives up.

The result of all of this activity is a very full humidor. This is a picture of my humidor and what the drawers look like inside it.