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2月17日 RIP Microwave Oven 1995-2007It has been tough around here recently. The Dishwasher died and had to be replaced. The toaster has been causing all sorts of havoc, and the can opener came apart with more than one screw loose.
Wednesday, the Microwave passed sometime during the night. I woke up to see it no longer was receiving power. Of course, I immediately jumped into action. I checked the breaker switches. Nothing had tripped in the breaker box. Next, I checked for any electrical problems. I verified that that the outlets were all working. Still, no power. After a reasonable period of grief, I made a trip to Best Buy and purchased a new microwave.
Microwave Oven, 1995 - 2007
After heating several thousands of meals and snacks, it failed to wake up and heat up a muffin.
The Microwave oven was dedicated to its job and was incredibly dependable over the years. It made popcorn even though it hated the noise that it made while cooking. It always did its best and was incredibly easy to run.
The Microwave is survived by the Fridge (6 years old), the dishwasher (3 months), the toaster (7 years), the coffee machine (four years), and the coffee grinder (3 months). 1月9日 More Appliances Acting UpDamn it. First the toaster started getting an attitude driving us to couples therapy. The resolution is that I now position the toaster so it can see the TV and it feels more a part of the family since it can watch the same TV shows.
Last night, it was the dish washer. It just decided that it didn't want to work anymore. It is almost brand new. At first I didn't realize that it was acting out since it is one of those ultra-quiet models that you can't hear unless you are standing right next to it. So the first time it acted out, I assumed that I forgot to start it, so I ran it again. It was the next day that I noticed that it didn't run again.
The dish washer claims that it is not being treated properly by the dogs. I just don't get it. The dogs don't do anything to the dish washer. Anyways, I set up a web cam. It turns out that the dish washer is right. One of the dogs does indeed seem to do something. It stops by the dish washer on a regular basis and passes gas. I trained him not pass gas around me (which by the way is extremely difficult to do), so when he has to pass gas, he takes a little walk around the house and then comes back.
Anyways, I certainly understand the dish washer's issue. According to my web cam, it appears to happen at least once an hour. I told the dish washer I would try to resolve the issue but would need at least two days. It agreed to run and clean the dishes while I am at work today.
Now I need to figure out what to do next. 11月10日 Toaster DreamI love some of these really strange dreams...
Anyways, last night, in my dream (I hope it was a dream), I was making a snack when the toaster started making noises to get my attention. It was basically doing the toaster's version of "ahem!" nice and loud.
So, I look over, and the toaster says, "Hey, I need to talk to you a second."
I told the toaster, "Sure, go ahead. You have my attention."
The toaster told me, "I am not feeling very well utilized lately. I feel that I am not contributing to the household enough. To be honest, I am scared that you might notice that I don't do much and will put me away into a cabinet or, Appliance Heaven forbid, throw me away."
The toaster sounded severely depressed to me. So I said, "Hey, that isn't an issue. We all love you."
The toaster said, "Hey, don't patronize me. You know you were mad when I burned your bagel last week. You haven't used me since then."
Crap, he had me there. I was pissed. I really wanted a toasted bagel, and the damned toaster burned my last one. OK, this was not going well. My toaster was really hurting, and I was hungry. So we talked some more. He asked to be cleaned out more, and I agreed that I would help out with that. He asked that I not put him next to the oven as his little plastic feet got way too hot when the oven was on, so I agreed to move him.
After talking some more, I could tell the toaster was a bit happier, but he still was not happy that he could not contribute more to the household. He said, "There has to be something else I can do. Can I answer the phone?"
"No," I explained, "that is the job of the answering machine. You wouldn't want her to get upset, would you?"
Anyways, we agreed to discuss some other tasks for him over the next few days. So, now I am trying to figure out what I can have my toaster do for me to help make him happier.
When I woke up, I made some toast, buttered it, and said in a fairly loud voice, "Mmmmm, that is good toast!" I hope the toaster heard me and doesn't burn any more bagels.
Update: After some group therapy, the toaster is starting to get past its issues. 10月19日 Frozen ChickenAnother dream...
Last night I dreamt that I was at the grocery store and was just walking into the meat department when I heard a really loud "thwap" sound.
I turned the corner and I saw a woman throwing fresh chickens at the back of her husband's head. It would make a noise, she yelled out a number, then the meat guy put a price tag on the chicken. I watched this happen about four times and finally asked somebody what was going on? It appears that the scale was broken for weighing chickens, and the woman and husband were commedians. Part of their comedy act included a skit where she throws a fresh chicken at her husband as he storms out of the room. Anyways, over the years, she has learned what sound a chicken will make based on its weight. When the scale broke, the meat department manager called her and her husband in to help out.
I picked up a chicken and got in line. Along it went... chicken handed to woman, she threw it at her husband's head, it made a noise, she yelled out the weight, the meat market guy put a price on it and gave it to the person to go and buy it.
I finally got up front, handed her my chicken. She threw it, and it hit the guy in the back of the head with a loud, "ccrracckk" noise. He fell over dead.
I guess I wasn't supposed to give her a frozen chicken. Oh well, lesson learned. 10月8日 NY Yankees?For those that don't know, there was a string of several years where I used to have a string of dreams throughout the baseball season that I was a bench player for the Seattle Mariners and Tampa Bay Devil Rays. I used to fill the mailboxes of my friends and family with my adventures in professional baseball.
The history goes something like this:
Thankfully, I was also working hard in the off seasons and was working as a contract trainer in IT starting in 1996. Who knew it would be the best thing for me. I love IT.
Last night, I had another of those funny dreams. Lou Pinella came to visit me at my home. He said that it looks like he will be managing again this coming year (and the Yankees are very likely to be the team that signs him) and he wants me to consider two things. 1. Coming out of retirement and playing for 2-3 more years. He promised that I would play on 3rd and 1st if I wanted to play again and made the team. 2. Be his hitting coach.
When I woke up today, I pulled out my mitt and my bat and thought about it. Maybe it is time that I look at coaching. But how does a career .278 hitter become a batting coach for a major league team? I just don't know if I could pull it off. Another consideration. When I quit playing, I was three homers short of 100. I would love to get those homers. But, damn, I am out of shape. Even with several months to work out, I don't know if I could pull it off.
Well, it is time to get ready for bed. Maybe my dreams will provide an answer.
9月20日 Odd DreamI think I am losing my mind. If anyone wants to interpret this dream, feel free.
Anyway, I had a dream last night that really was odd. It started off with me visiting the house where I grew up and walking into my old bedroom.
For some reason, there is a 20' boat in the bedroom, which did not seem unusual to me. I looked at the boat and said to myself "Dude, I can take this boat and put it on the lake and use it. I can put a bar in it and a bed and it can be my favorite drinking place." For anyone analyzing this dream, I rarely drink.
I climb into the boat so I can undo all the rope holding it into place and I find a bunch of Kangaroo costumes. Yes, Kangaroo costumes. Two of them are in perfect condition and the others are pretty worn out. I take out all the costumes and forget about the boat while I try them on. The one costume fits perfectly and I begin hopping around the house. It is so much fun.
I see my Mom and she tells me that Kangaroo costumes were all the rage in the early 1960's and that everyone wore them to parties. She said it was like wearing a Tux to high-end parties today, except you could wear Kangaroo costumes at any party and be considered hip and with it.
I then run into my sister and she gets all upset because I have the two best costumes and the rest of them are too worn for her to wear any of them. She tells me that it isn't fair that she doesn't get one of the good costumes. So I tell her that she can use one of the really worn ones and use it for a pattern to make a new one for herself. She then pouts and throws a fit about not being able to just go out and buy a new one because she can't afford it.
Of course, as in real life, all arguments with my sister evolve into arguments about money (no analysis needed for this part). As she gets on her soap box, I try to derail her and point out all the money that I have given her in the last year. Her reply is hilarious. She said, "When does the year end and when do I get a fresh start so I can get more money?"
At this point, I put my Kangaroo head on and hop out of the house (the kangaroo head blocks out my sister's whining). I hop all the way to my house and try to go inside, but my dog won't let me in. He, obviously, has a problem with Kangaroos. I don't remember him ever having a bad experience with Kangaroos before, so it really struck me as odd. He just refused to let me in the house.
I decide to take off my costume and go into my house to have a cold soda, and then I sit down to watch football on TV.
At this point, the alarm went off and I woke up. After getting dressed I went outside and looked around. I can't find that freaking Kangaroo costume. It would be so cool for Halloween! |
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